Sunday, 16 November 2008

And Another Thing . . .

Thus is the title of the sixth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 'trilogy'. It will be written by Eoin Colfer, who wrote the Artemis Fowl series, and has the backing of Adams' widow.

I must say, I'm very worried. The H2G2 movie was dreadful and I'm not sure Colfer can pull off the Hitchiker humour. Even Terry Pratchett would have been a better choice. I'm also a little jealous, because I'd always dreamed of writing the sixth book. Obviously I knew it would never happen, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it.

I'm curious to see how he's going to save the heroes from the Vogon Constructor Fleet at the end of Mostly Harmless. Of course, they could just hope the Vogons still have Dentrassi onboard and hitch a ride. Or Colfer could go the route of the fifth radio series, where the babel fish shift their hosts into an alternate dimension. However, I never bought that excuse either.

Only time will tell, I guess. But here's advance warning that I'll hate it. And complain. A lot.

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Relevant Quotes

A financial system always devolves, without heavy government control, into a Mafia capitalism -- and a Mafia political system.

A self-regulating market turns human beings and the natural environment into commodities, a situation that ensures the destruction of both society and the natural environment.
-- Karl Polanyi

Think about it: they said providing healthcare for nine million children, perhaps costing six billion dollars a year, was too expensive, but there's evidently no sum of money large enough that will sate the Wall Street pigs.
-- Naomi Klein

We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers--thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams.
-- Peter Beagle

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

The Controversial Survey (Apparently)

[01] Do you have the guts to answe​r these​ questions and re-​​post as The Contr​overs​ial Surve​y?​​
This isn't controversial. My alcohol consumption is controversial. Shooting Britney Spears for live TV would be controversial. This is a survey.

[02] Would​ you do meth if it was legal​ised?​​
Nah. I like my teeth too much. Legalising any drug wouldn't make me want to do them any more than I do already. Now pass that smack, Amy.

[03] Abort​ion:​​ for or again​st it?
For. A foetus isn't a baby and women are not fields on crop rotation. Unless we're to believe every sperm is sacred, a sperm fusing with an ovum does not equate to something divine. Women should have control over their own bodies and the right not to be breeding vessels. This has to be balanced against the rights of a developing human. But since most babies can't survive without their mother until a number of months have passed, the law doesn't recognise them as individuals in being. We can only limit the woman's right to control her own body once that baby is legally recognised as a human individual, which is the point where it can survive independently of its mother. Then it would be unreasonable for the mother's control of her own body to cause the death of another human. Until that baby is a human, however, it's not unreasonable.

Then again, given the state of some people, I'm not averse to increasing the termination date to 4160 weeks.

[04] Do you think​ the world​ would​ fail with a femal​e presi​dent?​
No. The US might fall with a bad president, full stop. But the rest of the world wouldn't. Unless the president in question was of a newly established republic China. I think they'll have far more influence in the world than any US president in a few years. Only Americans think they rule the world.

And no, a female leader is no worse than a male leader. Men have fucked up so far, so why not give a woman a chance? (Other than Maggie Thatcher. But let's not invoke the name of The Evil One.)

[05] Do you belie​ve in the death​ penal​ty?​​
No. Miscarriages of justice occur all the time and I'd rather a thousand guilty men went free than a single innocent person be killed by state. Sorry. And I can't trust any legal system to be infallible, because nothing human ever is.

[06] Do you wish marij​uana would​ be legal​ized alrea​dy?​​
Yes. Then I could eat my space cakes in public. But seriously, it would stop illegal trafficking of the drug and take money out of the pockets of criminals and into things like the NHS. The side-effects are negligible compared to smoking and alcohol.

[07] Are you for or again​st prema​rital​ sex?
Completely for. Try before you buy, baby! And not everyone wants or needs to get married.

[08] Do you belie​ve in God?
No. Maybe he exists; I couldn't care less. And I refuse to capitalise third person pronouns when referring to him. He's no better than me ;)

[09] Do you think​ same sex marri​age shoul​d be legal​ized?​​
Yeah. If they're stupid enough to get married, let them. Far too many straight people get married and divorced. Let everyone else do it too.

[10] Do you think​ it's wrong​ that so many Hispanics are illeg​ally movin​g to the USA?
Well people shouldn't be moving anywhere illegally if you believe in the law. Personally, I'm a bit of an anarchist, so break those rules, girl!

[11] A twelv​e year old girl has a baby,​​ shoul​d she keep it?
If she wants to. If not, toss it in a bin, give it to the church, sell it on eBay, or whatever. Just don't raise another Vicky Pollard.

[12] Shoul​d the alcoh​ol age be lower​ed to eighteen?​
Yes. If you're old enough to have sex, get married and die in war, you're old enough to drink. In the countries with the lowest alcohol ages, people have the lowest rates of alcohol-related crime and illness. If you make it taboo, you make it dangerous, you make it exciting. If you make it commonplace, you make it boring.

[13] Shoul​d the war in Iraq be calle​d off?
It shouldn't have been started in the first place. But the point of the war in Iraq is to keep the West in war for as long as possible. There are a lot of rich people making money from weapons and economic unrest, and lots of corrupt folk enjoying draining our civil liberties under the aegis of getting scapegoats in desert caves. Isn't strange that the 'Osama' who admitted to 9/11 has noticeably darker skin and a wider nose than the Osama we've seen in other videos? And isn't it also funny Bush's administration flew the bin Ladens out of the US after 9/11, even though most planes were cancelled, and he was having lunch with bin Laden's cousin the day of the attack?

I thought so.

[14] Assis​ted suici​de is illeg​al:​​ do you agree​?​​
No. Every person has the right to decide when they want to die. However, there have to be safeguards in place to make sure people don't just off their ageing relatives for an inheritance.

[15] Do you belie​ve in spank​ing your child​ren?​​
Yes. Spank away! It leads to a healthy fascination with S&M as an adult.

[16] Would​ you burn an Ameri​can flag for a million dolla​rs?​​
I'd burn any flag for $1m. Although, the US exchange rate is crap, so it wouldn't be worth as much as £1m. But either way, I'm game! Brits don't have nationalism in the same way Americans do. I'd burn the Union Jack or the St George's cross too.

[17] Who do you think​ would​ make a bette​r president?​​ McCai​n or Obama​?​​
Obama. I'm not a fan of conservatism. Even British conservatives are more leftist than Republicans.

​[18] Are you afrai​d other​s will judge​ you from reading some of your answe​rs?​​
Who cares? I've just sacrificed a virgin to keep the crow's feet at bay. I'm evil!

Friday, 19 September 2008

Troglodyte Goes Live!

Check out and check out 'Who is Troglodyte Rose?'. Further updates to follow every week.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Hot Damn!

I've just got the most delicious and fiery cocktail recipe through my inbox from Juno Books, to celebrate Carole Nelson Douglas' new novel, BRIMSTONE KISS.Ingredients follow:

Brimstone Kiss Cocktail
Invented in Brimstone Kiss by Carole Nelson Douglas

"Sounds like something you'd sip on all night long and I'd knock back
in couple slugs."- Rick Blaine/Humphrey Bogart CinSim in Brimstone Kiss

2 shots Inferno Pepper Pot vodka
1 shot DeKuyper "Hot Damn!" Hot Cinnamon Schnapps
2 shots Alize Red Passion
jalapeno pepper slice (optional)
2 ounces Champagne (for second version)

Version 1: Pour all the ingredients into a martini shaker with ice. Shake
gently. Pour into a martini glass garnished with the jalapeño pepper
slice. A hell of a drink! Sure to knock your socks off.

Version 2: For the classier birds amongst us: Pour all the ingredients into a tall footed glass filled with ice. Stir well. Top off with two ounces of your favorite Champagne. A perfect frothy but potent brunch libation that might lead to pleasant

If you like the sound, try this cocktail invented for BRIMSTONE KISS's precursor, DANCING WITH WEREWOLVES, or consider buying the books both cocktails come from. The Albino Vampire Cocktail is purely delish!

Thanks to editor Paula Guran of Juno Books for letting us post this here.

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Flyer Boys Needed!

Okay, as some of you know, amongst my other projects, I run Blasphemy @ Religion with Liam Keogh of LK Communications in Leeds. We're looking for new staff. It's paid, piss-easy work that takes less than an hour a time. If you're interested, just email Liam at

Also, if you want guestlist to Fresh Meat (our freshers' party/relaunch), let me know!

Who is Troglodyte Rose?

Who is Troglodyte Rose?

Answers on a postcard please. We'll be announcing the right answer shortly . . .

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Open for Submissions

Dog Horn Publishing is open for submissions. We've currently got a taste for bizzarro/pulp/irreal/surreal/weird fiction, so if you have any, send it along.

Monday, 1 September 2008

A Labyrinth of Entrails

This story is out in November, so I thought I'd give a little more info on it.

Basically I wanted to examine the role of victim in our society. It seems to me that victims of child and sexual abuse are labelled as victims whether or not they feel that way. There's an assumption of psychological scarring, vulnerability and taint from the experience. But this is often assumed without consulting with the individual in question.

Someone very close to me was once involved in what could technically be considered child abuse. She was 7 and he was 14, and he asked her to touch his genitals. She was frankly imperturbed by the experience and only became distressed when she was sat in front of a counsellor, in front of a one-way mirror, and recorded on video camera whilst being interrogated. The girl in question had never considered herself a victim. True, she was only 7, but even now, as an adult, she always states she does not feel she is the victim of any kind of abuse and she does not feel bad about the incident. Rather, she feels indifferent to it, seeing it as part of her childhood, and finds the encounter more traumatic.

This is in no way excusing the actions of the 14 year-old (who had learning difficulties); in all truth, he doesn't come into my argument. It's not about what he did and how we should feel about him (because his actions were clearly wrong). It's about her. How does she feel? And why should we call her a victim if she doesn't want to be one and doesn't feel like one?

So this was part of the original decision behind the character of Cathy, who is the protagonist of the story. Cathy is being held captive in the basement of a paedophile and is only twelve years old. She does not, however, reveal herself to be anything less than strong. Cathy is irreverent, cocky, powerful and magical. She's also very badly behaved by traditional standards. She smokes cigars and is involved in a sexually-active (we assume) lesbian relationship with the other girl locked in the cellar.

Cathy is not a victim, and no matter what her captor does to her, she will not become one either.

One way in which I revealed her power, and her refusal to be a victim, is by sidelining the abuse elements themselves. The words 'paedophile' and 'paedophilia' never appear, and you'll be hard pressed to find any words relating to abuse and victimisation. These issues are irrelevant to Cathy. Her story is not about paedophilia; it is about self-identity and freedom. Her journey, which she instigates through her own inner strength, is to escape the cellar and be free, but she feels fully confident in her abilities. It is only the narrator who doubts and thus provides the narrative tension that keeps the reader intrigued.

I intend to write more Cathy stories. She's very much the childlike element within all adults. She does what she wants, when she wants to. She reminds me of the Victorian idea of the child, where kids were seen merely as smaller adults. In Victorian literature, children are very much sexualised and capable of evil. It's only in the last century that we've become obsessed with children being innocent and separate from adult concerns. I've always thought this hypocritical. Children do think about alcohol and sex and smoking, even if they don't always understand them. Children are capable of morally dubious and even criminal activities.

And most importantly, it is up to an individual to self-identify (whether as victim or not), not society. That's what the story's about and that's what I hope readers get from it.

Now, let's wait till it comes out and you can tuck in ;)

Thursday, 28 August 2008

Mr Gay UK & Manchester Pride

Well . . . Manchester Pride was certainly an eventful time. There was booze, boys and bitchiness galore! But I loved it.

On Friday I checked into the swanky Malmaison Hotel at Piccadilly with my little bum chum Paul. The room was delicious and we wanted to go to sleep there and then, but instead we freshened up, dropped some Lucozade tablets (get us!) and headed for the Village. A girl waits for nothing and can't be held back by such lousy things as exhaustion!

At least, that's what we thought. What did hold us back was practicality. Paul's never been one for practical matters--hence why he forgot both passport and train tickets when we were setting off for the Faroe Islands.

Of course, Paul had no ticket this time either. His friend had bought one and posted it via special delivery to Paul, but Royal Mail being what they are, and Paul being a poof, the ticket would not be received in time. So we had to queue, queue, queue--even though I already had my pass. It would've been rude to leave him queuing on his own, right? Well, that's what he said. I wanted to disagree but apparently there's something called friendship which I fail miserably at but should give a try.

When we finally got the ticket, it was time to make a beeline for The Ritz. We managed to sneak Jason and the other Paul into the VIP lounge upstairs, and there we all chilled and drank till I was called onstage. We spotted various Z-list celebrities and giggled at their attempts to remain cool and aloft by not mingling with the chaff. But since Mr Gay UK is run by the Leeds lot, half of LS1 was there on the balcony with us.

When asked onstage what I was looking for in a Mr Gay UK contestant, I said, 'Desperation, so I can get a shag.' Last year I'd said, 'A tight arse and a big cock,' for which I got a cheer. Terry seemed to enjoy my comments, although I'm sure they were very tacky and very gay.

My introduction ran something like this:

'Everyone knows him but they don't quite know why--it's Adam Lowe, Features Editor from Bent Magazine, and everybody calls him Beyonce.'

Pretty accurate, I must admit.

I met Jane McDonald and her boyfriend backstage, as well as the other hosts. It was a really great atmosphere and there was no pretentiousness. All the contestants were nervous but excited, and they were all just glad to be there. After all, being voted the sexiest person in your city by your mates is a pretty good achievement, whether or not the vagabond judges elect you winner overall. Besides, they got shitloads of sex out of it.

I continued to drink throughout the whole event, and of course my comments were caught on film. When asked what I thought of the boys, I replied:

'I think I might need a spatula because I'm stuck to my chair.'

Later, when asked what I thought of the night as a whole, I pointed out:

'I think you shouldn't buy us free champagne, because I've drunk the whole bottle!' To which Ms McDonald laughed.

The winner was finally announced as the other judges and I handed out champagne to the runners up. Dino from Cardiff won, and boy, was he a hottie!

The afterparty at Cruz 101 was irrelevant because we'd had more fun than we could manage at The Ritz, and by then Jason and the other Paul had vanished.

Saturday morning we all met up again for brunch--which was steak in my case. I love a juicy bit of meat, after all. Medium rare for me.

Then it was on to Pride again. We visited the lifestyle and info tents, did a spot of shopping, and drank our own bodyweight in Cheeky Vimto. An old friend of mine, Jon, plied us with cheap/free booze from behind the bar at Alter Ego all night. It certainly helped.

Mateusz, my Polish lover, arrived to give me a cuddle, but we lost him as the night drew on.

Finally, Rosy, my sister, arrived. We partied hard but decided to leave at 23.40 so we could get back to our beds in Leeds (my hotel room had only been for one night). I was also fed up of the astronomical prices and began howling about 'The dirty, filthy, thieving Mancunian bastards'.

We ran into Paul's ex Aiden on the train and decided to go to QC, where we discussed society's attitudes to 'victims' (and how the labelling of someone as victim perpetuates their suffering, whereas they may not have considered themselves victims before) and how to tell a good story. We regaled Aiden with our own shocking tales, but his paled in comparison. We pointed out a good anecdote should have a punchline.

Then we went home and to bed.

Sunday morning I woke late-ish, but decided to return to the fray. I met up with the Pink Paper crew, who were charming every one, and then slunk off to find my Leeds posse. Sunday was probably the second best night, after Friday. We drunk absinthe and paraded up and down Canal Street in search of a shag. We found a possible in ***, but he wanted drugs and Jason and I couldn't agree on who should get to have him (I'd already had him; Jason had gone longer without sex; I'm naughtier).

I finally got the train home at 03.40, arriving in Leeds for 05.20, and went to bed. Of course, I should have used Monday to recover, but went out again . . .

(c) 2008 Adam Lowe All Rights Reserved


Okay, it's giveaway time.

We want to create a blog explosion across the net. Simply repost this competition on your own blog and email us a link to enter. The winner will get the signed cover proofs of Issue 3. Two runners up will also win two copies of Issue 3.


To celebrate Polluto #3 - 'Sex in the Time of VHS', we want to spread the word about Polluto and give away some great goodies!

All you need to do to win is blog this competition call and email a link of your blog to

The winner will grab the ONLY signed cover proofs of Issue 3. Two runners up will win two copies each of Issue 3.

So get blogging!

Sunday, 8 June 2008

Chimeraworld #5 - THE REJECTS ISSUE

News just in: our editor-in-chief (yes, me) has just been accepted for Chimeraworld #5. His story of paedophilia, child sexuality, miscarriage, abortion and escapism is his nastiest, sickest yet--but with an oddly perverse and upbeat ending. Think 'Pan's Labyrinth' meets 'Hard Candy' with all the gore and guts of 'Hellraiser'. Look out for 'A Labyrinth of Entrails' and the 22 other great stories inside when it hits shelves Nov/Dec 2008.

Details follow:

It's that story the writer put her heart and soul into. A story that broke the genre of the markets it was submitted to and it's been submitted to many. Maybe it was too sexy for the sci-fi market, too scary for the romance market, too introspective for the horror market. Maybe the subject matter is too close to the knuckle for the editor/publishers the writer tried. Maybe it's too anecdotal with no obvious narrative structure. Either way, it's a story that the writer loved writing and thought it deserved to be picked up by now but it's been burning a hole in her hard drive and nursing the wounds of numerous glowing rejection letters.

That's what to expect of Chimeraworld #5: each author's best, most unappreciated, most rejected and powerful work. Recalcitrant, refusenick, stubbornly original.

Chimeraworld #5 (THE REJECTS ISSUE) will be published by Chimericana Books, late 2008 in American format 6" by 9" trade paperback.

Adam Lowe

(c) 2008 Adam Lowe All Rights Reserved